Living with Migraines

Hi everyone

2006-08-25T13:34:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone,

I haven't been on in quite awhile. I have been busy with the new baby (she's now 5 1/2 months old), work and my online college courses. The migraines are still as annoying as ever to say the least. I have not found any success yet. I had been hoping that after my pregnancy I could try new medicines and find something to help. I didn't find much of anything.

But life does march forward. And now I have a little one to help keep me going.

I'm back

2005-12-04T19:44:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone, I haven't posted in a long time. Had a rough few weeks but am feeling better. I have had some pregnancy difficulties and the usual migraines. But the baby is doing great!!!!!!

My migraines have not really gotten any better during my pregnancy. I know a lot of women experience an improvement in migraines. Some people have even had a cessation of migraines during their pregnancy. If anyone has a story about their pregnancy and migraines, I would love to here. I am sure others would too.

I never thought my medicines helped that much. But now that I am no longer on my usual treatment plan, I realize they may have been doing better than I thought. This is helpful to me because after my baby is born I can try again. With a more positive attitude perhaps I will be even more responsive to my treatment plan.

Migraines and Pregnancy

2005-09-19T15:38:00.000-07:00

Before i became pregant I suffered from severe, intractable migraines. Now that I am pregnant, I still suffer from severe and intractable migraines. This brings up quite a challenge as most of the medicines I could take before, I no longer can. The only thing that keeps me going is the miracle growing inside of me.

I want my baby to be happy and healthy. I know that most medications are not safe or basically we dont know if they are safe. However, I also know that I have been having such serious migraines and for so long that I worry about a stroke or a disruption of my blood flow. To me this may be an even greater risk to the baby.

The other day I had to go to the ER. I will leave out a lot of the story to make a long story shorter. But I experienced a horrid and extended aura of blindness. I was out of it, confused. slurred my words etc. The ER experience was not too bad.

But today I see my OB and discuss what we can try to do for these migraines. Neurology thinks I am having complex migraines now and I am concerned about having these migraines ALL the time. So I discuss this with OB. He told me, "well you are going to have to put up with your migraines more now that you are pregnant." Then when I said again about the seriousness, he was again like, "you are just going to have to deal with it."

He made me feel like I'm a horrible mother (to-be) for even asking. When really all I want is to make sure the baby is going to be ok. It isn't about my pain for in many ways I have learned to live with that. Anyone who suffers chronic pain knows there often isn't much you can do.

I heard my baby's heartbeat for the first time

2005-08-25T08:19:00.000-07:00

I have been meaning to post this all week, but I have been struggling with a wicked migraine. On Monday I heard my baby's heartbeat for the first time. I was so excited! It was amazing. Sometimes I worry that someday my child will be afflicted with this horrible illness: migraines. I hope and pray that it is not the case.

My migraines seemed to be set off after I was in a car accident. So I am hoping that was in some way the cause. If it is not genetic in my case, than I believe chances are good my child won't suffer migraines.

In the meantime I am working hard to take as good of care of myelf as possilbe. It is not easy with these migraines but I am trying hard to get plenty of rest and fluids in me. It's not just me I am thinking about these days. I have the little one to take care of too!

My life; a work in progress

2005-08-19T12:25:00.000-07:00

I have come to the conclusion lately that my life is a work in progress. It wasn't always this way, at least that isn't the way i used to see my life. There was a time not all that long ago when I had plans (big plans) or so I thought. I was going to graduate school, go to college, earn a degree, get a great job and leave my small hometown. Then I would meet a wonderful man, fall in love, get married and have a couple kids.

So far, life hasn't quite worked out that way. I graduated high school, started college, became ill and had to leave school for awhile. I got married young and divorced rather quickly. The migraines turned into intractable migraines with horrible symptoms. There are those days when I'm partly blind, or days when I pass out. Sometimes I cannot speak other times I cannot think clearly. I finished my degree online. But so far I have't landed that great job.

My life is still a work in progress. I blame it on the migraines. I'm sure that is most of it, but some of the reason my life has not going according to plan is because of the decisions I have made. I try hard and I think that's what is important. That is what counts.

Last night was the worst

2005-08-19T12:22:00.000-07:00

Last night had to be the worst migraine I have had in ages. In fact, it was one of the worst ever. It was a long, long night. Luckily I was feeing better for awhile this morning, although the pain level I can tell is ready to rise again.

To all my fellow migraine sufferers, I hope today is a good day for you. We can always hope that our dear friends are having one of their good or even better yet; pain free days. I know for a lot of us those days can be far and few between, but that is why we need to look at the good things in our lives.

I know when I am in the midst of a monster of a migraine, sometimes I find it difficult to keep a positive outlook. It is hard to do so at times but certinaly not impossible!
Have a good day everyone!

Some Good News

2005-08-18T05:28:00.000-07:00

Well for the past two years I have often found myself debilitated due to migraines. It has made it difficult to continue my education (although I have), to work and to live a normal life. I have lived with a roomate for the past two years. She owns a home and rented me a room and allowed me to set up a little computer room as well.

After all this time, i am getting my own apartment. I have never totally lived on my own. I am only in my 20's but I have already been married and divorced. (Yeh I was married young). So I lived with my parents. Then I got married. And then I lived with a roomate.

I am nervous about living alone because of how bad I get at time.s. But I am also very excited!

Not Your Ordinary Migraines

2005-08-14T13:08:00.000-07:00

Well,

If you have been reading my posts, you will know that I am a migraine sufferer. Living with intractable migraines is no fun. My migraines are often not your ordinary migraines. But then again, I do not know if there is such a thing.

Migraines are to last from 4-72 hours. They say if your migraine lasts for more than 72 hours, you are at an increased risk for stroke. Yet for many of us who suffer chronic migraines, we can go days, weeks or even months with a migraine of different intensity levels.

For many a migraine is something like this: severe head pain that is often one sided, perhaps dizziness, often light and sound sensitivity and vomiting. For some a migraine is a montly occurance or less. For others of us it is a weekly, several times a week or even at times a daily occurance.

Some symptoms of stroke include numbness in the face, arms or legs (most often on one side of the body, slurred speech or difficulty speaking, acting confused or incoherant, difficulty seeing, loss of balance or coordination. And yet for some migraine suffers such as myself these are common migraine symptoms for us.

During a severe attack, I often become confused or disoriented. The worse thing that ever happened to me was driving home from work with a migraine. This was before I began working from home. I was drving and all the sudden i "awoke" to realize I was in the middle of an intersection with cars coming at me. Everything worked out ok, but it was scary.

I often experience severely blurred and foggy vision and even sometimes I cannot see out of one of my eyes or have tunnel vision. There are often times when my hand or foot is numb or I become weak on one side of my body. But for me this is part of my migraines.

I would like to hear from others who experience the extreme of migraines. Feel free to contact me at sales@kconnections.com. Together perhaps we can gain more understanding of this difficult disease.

Haven't written in awhile

2005-08-09T11:31:00.000-07:00

Well,

I'm sorry to see that I haven't written in over two weeks. I have been having a rough two weeks though. I am about 10 weeks pregnant. But my migraines have been out of control. Many women say that their migraines are better during pregnancy. Some don't even get a migraine!

I talked to my neurolgy CRNP about this on Friday. She said that since my migtaines have never really had a hormonal componenent, she didn't think it would make much difference. Oh well it was worth a try!

This most recent migraine episode started on July 12th wtih no full day break since. I have had a continuous migraine since Friday. So that is day four for me. I can't take much with the pregnancy and, of course, I would never risk harm to my baby. The baby is the one thing that pushes me through. I have much joy thinking about the coming months and years with my bundle of joy!

Some things lost, Some things gained

2005-07-09T07:35:00.000-07:00

Having intractable migraines is not easy. As it is not easy to have any chronic and debilitating disease. There is often much lost due to my migraines. Now there are so many things I once did that I can no longer do. But not all hope is lost.

I can no longer drive as far as I used to. The main reason is because I experience frequent dizziness and blurry vision. I do not like to stray too far from home. My brain is foggier than it used to be. Sometimes i feel disoriented when I drive. This is another reason as to why I do not drive very often.

I can't go out with my friends as much as I used to. Going out for a couple drinks and dancing is out of the question. It is too noisy and alcohol is a definate no no. That isn't such a big thing though, I'm not much of a drinker anyway.

I love rollercoasters, but can no longer ride them. Many times I just feel too poorly to go to events that friends and family are having. Often times if I do make plans, I must cancel them. So I have found it is better not to make plans as I do not want to disappoint everyone when I can't make it.

My career is not as advanced as I would like it to be. I am self employed because of my health. My income is not very high and work is a struggle. I feel as if I am not living up to my fullest potential, as if I am not using my college degree to it's fullest.

So yes, I have lost a lot as a chronic migraine sufferer. But you know what I have gained a lot too.(Sounds strange I know but please read on).

I belong to two migraine support groups online. Through these groups I have met some wonderful and amazing people. I have made some new friends, a couple of which i consider great friends. Had I not had migraines I may never have met these people.

My experience with migraines has given me an opportunity to reach out and help others. I volunteer for allexperts.com and answer people's questions about migraines. Some have told me that my answers have really been a help or at least a comfort in knowing they are not alone. I have always liked to help others and now even with my limitations, I still can.

It it were not for my migraines. My career would be quite different. I would be out working somewhere. But even this is not all bad. I need to be self employed so that I can work and rest would I need to. Sometimes I can't get as much done as I would like to make a better income. Howver, I have started my own business. I love what I do. ANd if I do get better someday I plan to expand my business. If it weren't for my migraines I may never have discovered this work that I love so.

Debilitating migraines that occur often are not fun. They change your life and make things very hard. But for me I have found that it is not all bad. I believe everything happens for a reason and I have found some purpose in my suffering.

A day in the life of me (and my migraines)

2005-07-06T05:59:00.000-07:00

This is a description of one of the days in the life of me (a chronic, intractable migraine suffer). I have many days such as these. I am not telling this story for sympathy but merely to be a voice for fellow migraine sufferers. Sometimes those who do not suffer migraines, want to understand what we go through but have a hard time doing so.

It's 3a.m. and I am awake. The pounding in my head has woken me up again. There is such pressure in my head as well. It feels as if my head weighs 50 pounds. I am so tired that I just wish I could sleep, but with sledgehammer on top of my head, it's impossible. I toss and I turn, I try to get comfortable, but I can't.

Now it is about 6a.m and I crawl out of bed and grab some medicine. I am very dizzy and so I stumble out to the kitchen to get a drink of water with my medicine. Maybe, just maybe this will help. It usually does not. My pain is not very responsive to the dozens of medicines I have tried. Once in awhile it does take the edge off though. Maybe today I will be lucky.

I stumble back to bed. Again I toss and I turn but I cannot sleep. It's getting light out now. The light is so bright, it's like standing right in front of headlights. The light hurts my eyes and hurts my head even more. I bury myself under my pillows. The sledgehammer on my head keeps on pounding. By now the nausea is also kicking in. I try to lay perfectly still, maybe then I won't get sick.

It is time to get up now. I am self employed. But I still have work to do, customers to talk to and deadlines to meet. My whole body feels as if it weighs a ton. I am very lightheaded and feel as if I might faint. I lose my balance and run into the wall. I manage to get myself ready for the day. I try to drink a little tea, but it only makes me sick. I decide not to eat right away, if at all this morning.

I turn on my computer and begin my day. The letters are fuzzy. I can barely see what I am doing. Luckily I am a good typer and don't need to see the keys. I go to speak to my roommate but the wrong words come out. I'm tongue twisted and can't seem to say anything coherent. I hope I am not typing that way. I struggle on through the hours. I have my "sick bucket" at my side, my ice pack on my head and still I feel no better.

My work day is finally done. I haven't been able to eat all day. So I try some supper. I manage to eat a little but it wasn't easy. Maybe now I can lay down for awhile. Perhaps I will even fall asleep. No I can't fall asleep. I'm still in too much pain. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day...

4th Of July is Here with a Bang

2005-07-04T08:24:00.000-07:00

Well,

The 4th of July is "here with a bang." It isn't quite what I had in mind for this day however, The banging is not from fireworks and other 4th of July festivities. Instead it is the banging of my head (AKA a migraine). I woke up early this morning (way too early). I knew something was not quite right and that this could very well turn into a migraine day.

For me migraines are often. I have intractable migraines and somehow managed a few hours peace and quite yesterday. But it is back today. It is one of those days when my vision is a little blurry, I have nausea and, of course, the pain.

But life goes on. You learn to cope, and I must say most of the time it is not all that bad. It is amazing how living with pain everyday makes you appreciate life even more. It does not make me bitter and does not make me ask, "why me" At least not usually anyway. Of course, like everyone I do have my bad days. I try hard to keep a positive outlook. The pain may be a part of me but it cannot become me so to speak. My life is not defined by the pain.